Is this real meat?

Today the time has gone by so fast. It's that time of the year when it is major crunch time, getting things done, wanting to go home for Christmas. I looked at the clock and it is almost 2 and I haven't eaten lunch. Crap I think to myself, I know I should just go digging around in the freezer here at work and find a lunch-sickle - AKA Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, Smart Ones, what have you, all the same. The pictures on the boxes always look so appetizing then you unveil the actual lunch out of the box and think to yourself "what the fuck is that?". Instant plans of attack run through your head, "Well I could go run out really fast and grab something, well wait, then that defeats the whole purpose of saving time and money... and probably calories. Shit, I guess I will zap it up and pretend its good, and most importantly, filling.. yeah right".

So this is where I find myself just a couple minutes ago, checking out the final product, creepy looking chunks mystery-meat that they pass off as "Chicken"? Well yeah f'in right. I bring it to my desk and start inspecting. Weird brown marks are on either side of the "medallion" (um hmm, sure) which is from browning it.. Uh yeah suuuuure, nice try but no dice healthy choice people! The consistency is this weird sponge-like and almost a translucent tan color. Yeah, chicken that I make at home surely does not look like this shit. Here's the kicker, obviously its fake chicken, but where the f do the tendon lookin things come from?? You know your creeped out to eat every piece of that mystery meat that is staring you in the face sitting in its little black death tray swimming in sweet and sour. So what is that stuff that you cut around? That is my question...

And major draw back, these things only mask your hunger for oh about... 13.5 minutes.

Man alive..

So there is someone in my office eating soup or something and I can't decide if it smells good, or foul. hahah gross, how is that possible?

The Dudette does not abide.

WATCH THIS!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KskaUMuARR8

So for all of you that heard about the story of the shrimp on the treadmill (yes, I did just say a shrimp on a treadmill and no, not a fake one, a real shrimp and no I am not crazy). But there was a study in Oregon (of course) about what you should do when your sick - To workout, or not to workout. They said that when they did this study with SHRIMP in a tank with a treadmill (yeah who the f thought of that, I know) that the shrimp recovered quicker when they "worked out" if that is what shrimp call it.

So I am getting sick (well was last night, now I am full blown down with the plague), I thought to myself, the dudette must abide to the Shrimp. I don't want to get sick, I have a lot of shit to no between now and next weekend (your probably thinking then why the f are you blogging about shrimp on a treadmill, right, not my fault, take it up with the people @ dayquil) so I went to the gym.

On my was driving, I thought, well so working out is good while your sick/getting sick, but is being in a gym with oodles of people who have who knows what festering inside of them?? Where is the study on that shrimp lovers??? Back to the point, running on the treadmill was the biggest form of self-inflicted torture ever. Two minutes into the workout, my throat closed up and said f'u Polly, give me h20 biooooooch. And every stride was like picking up feet made of cement, so even with my earbuds in I could hear my sweet new shoes scuffing the rubber treadmill belt thing that spins (again, dayquil fog - don't know the name of that) making a sound like I was kicking sand. So not only was I suffering but so was everyone else that didn't have music pumpin.

Bottom line, do not abide to the shrimp, go home, curl up and watch Elf. You will be much happier. You cottonheadedninnymuggins.

FYI

Working under the influence of DayQuil = wait, what was I doing?

wtf

http://news.aol.com/health/article/indian-woman-gives-birth-at-age-70/271681

REALLY? Whats the point?

Blog

Oh man, I am such a blogger reject. I haven't written since March. WTF. Well its always the same old shit on different days anyways, so whatev. Now I am just waiting for snow!! We're finally supposed to get a massive dump tomorrow, one can only hope!! : )

So I just made a appointment to get my hair done, and yeah, its going to be 120 dollars!!! What the FFFFFFFF. Am I supposed to walk in tattered looking with money and leave broke and beautiful?? I guess. This is why I haven't gotten my hair done since May. Damn. That is a whole lot of money. But I must clean up for the holidays. Don't want to look like a ragamuffin in Christmas pictures, DUH.